Shy or Anxious?

The last few times I have taken Braden to school, he has really struggled with me leaving. He stands alone on the playground staring at me as I walk away. Of course, my heart will not let me leave when I see him like this, so I turn around and go back, every time. I usually encourage him to find his classmates, talk to some kids he doesn’t know, introduce himself to them, wait for a turn on the slide, etc. He tells me he’d rather stand where he is. Eventually I asked some other child who looked bored and alone if he’d like to go talk to Braden. He did. So I left once I saw them chatting. The stranger boy was chatting happily while Braden stood there looking nervous and confused.

As I walked home I asked myself,  “Did I unintentionally pass my social anxiety on to my son?”.
Since he was young I didn’t really have him out and about around other children. He’s always been used to being around only his Mom, Dad, Brother, and Sister. He’s got friends but they aren’t all at school with him. I understand he’s shy and being shy and having social anxiety are not the same thing. So I am trying to gauge which of the two he really is. He seems to get really sad and uncomfortable when he is in social situations, so that makes me lean towards anxiety. However, sometimes he tells me he is fine. Sometimes he flat out says “I’m just shy.”

Regardless, I think school will be good for him. He is slowly coming out of his little shell and I have absolutely learned my lesson. Chase starts school next September, I will absolutely be getting him used to being around other Children well beforehand and the same goes for Paisley. I don’t want to hinder them with my own socially awkward tendencies. Ultimately it’s not fair for me to force my behaviours on them and deprive them of a social life just because I don’t want to leave the house.

Please send positive vibes to Braden as he continues on his journey! :)

I lead a pretty drama free life but…

Tonight, I was disappointed. As a member of a group of Moms I am often faced with differing beliefs, views, opinions, and other synonyms for the like. I usually keep my mouth shut and keep my opinions to myself because I am not a fan of confrontation. Tonight I decided not to.

Someone had posted something that I possibly misconstrued as an uneducated statement about Child health. Her words were that her son cannot gain weight, so if she wanted she would send chips and chocolate in his school lunch and “you’re damn right he’s going to eat it.”. My issue with that statement was the implication that the only health issue resulting from junk food, is obesity. So I took to my personal Facebook to try to educate people. I said that junk food can also cause type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular conditions, and more. I chose to do this on my personal Facebook, which I had set to “friends only” instead of on the group because I did not want to hurt this woman’s feelings by disagreeing with her. I thought my opinions were safe on my own Facebook, which I realize is silly to a lot of people, but I maintain a very small friend list.

Someone on my friend list chose to pass the status I posted on to the girl who inspired the post. Which obviously hurt her feelings. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions after that, stemming from my social anxiety. I felt betrayed, guilty, hurt, nervous… I was panicking. I didn’t intend to hurt anyone. I just wanted people to realize how important healthy eating habits are. I’m not a sanctimommy, my children eat junk too, I just wanted to eliminate the belief that health equates to weight, there is SO much more to worry about than just the number on your scale.

After deleting the status out of respect for a friend who was offended, I posted this one:

“Straight up, anyone who knows me knows that I am a nice person. I am not a bully. While I do have strong opinions about things that are important to me, I wouldn’t go out of my way to intentionally hurt someone who has differing views. To the person who took something I said on my personal Facebook and shared it with someone knowing it would hurt their feelings and knowing it would create drama for me, thank you. You’ve showed me that drama is more important to you than respecting me. Many people know I have severe social anxiety and when I am faced with conflict it makes me physically SICK. I almost puked when I realized someone was upset with me and I felt guilty, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I should not have to feel bad for having a personal opinion about something and sharing it among people I thought were trustworthy. I am sorry I offended someone, but I am not sorry for trying to educate people. I will never be sorry for that. :) Have a great Friday everyone, never stop speaking your mind.”

I maintain my opinion. What I spoke was truth, whether or not it was relevant to the girl’s post or whether or not I misunderstood her. Everything I said is still true and important. With all the controversial shit in the world, how did I end up mixed up in drama because of something so trivial. My original post was not rude, not accusatory, I didn’t single anyone out or name any names, I simply provided facts. The girl who inspired the post is not someone I know or would ever meet/associate with, she did not EVER have to know I disagreed with her. To the person who chose to run to the girl and share my private post with her, shame on you. One, for telling her something a stranger said knowing it could hurt her feelings and two, for betraying my trust with the sole intention of causing conflict. I will always apologize for hurt feelings but I will not retreat from voicing my opinion on important issues on the basis that it could potentially hurt the feelings of a person I do not know or have any obligation to. I am sensitive to the feelings of others, I always will be, but I won’t be a doormat either.

Embracing the blisters.

I didn’t want to wake up this morning… Fall is here and despite it being my favourite season of them all, the air was frigid and cold and I didn’t want to leave my warm bed. I had to take Braden to school and I laid there cursing his school for not letting him take the bus. It wasn’t fair that I had to walk to his school with three small children straggling on and behind me back and forth, back and forth, multiple times a day. I just wanted to lay in bed and be warm, get up when I wanted, drink a nice hot coffee, watch Netflix, and just be lazy.

Then for a split second, this little voice in my head that I have cleverly nicknamed “reason”, reminded me that there are millions of children out there who would walk MILES to get an education. In fact there are probably children in this cruel world who do walk miles to get their education. I felt ashamed of myself and my first world problems. I pulled my ass out of bed and walked that child to school because he is incredibly privileged to live in a Country where education is easily accessible and I have absolutely no right to abuse that privilege by complaining or making him skip school. I had blistered heels from my boots and I was panting like a dog by the time I got back, but that’s really a very small price to pay for your child to be given such a wonderful gift that so many other children in the world desperately crave. I will gladly take a few moments of laboured breathing and a blister on my heel, for my son to have an education.

Since 1999 the amount of children out of school has dropped from a staggering 106 million, to 60 million. But think about that, there are 60 million children out there being denied something we often take for granted, something so crucial, that should be a basic human right. Education.


Think and wonder, wonder and think.

Last night I walked sweaty palmed and red faced into a room full of strangers, half of which looked as nervous as I was. Some looked scared, some were sweating, others had hands that couldn’t stop shaking, while some seemed confident, bored, or just over it. The Kindergarten teacher greeted us all at the door as we entered and directed us to little tiny desks with our childrens’ names on them. I found “Braden” right at the front of the class. I immediately wondered if this would always be his spot or if it was random just for the Open House. I looked around the room and saw little everything. Little chairs, little tables, little bookshelves. Fit for a five year old. Fit for Braden. I sat there trying to pay attention to the information his teacher was giving the parents but my brain was melting. My little baby, my first born, would be sitting in this classroom in a week. Without me! Learning to read, write, make friends, and heaps of other things I was unable to teach him myself. I was so overwhelmed I had to keep reminding myself to stop shaking. When she said we could leave, I was the first one out the door, maybe even the building. I fled like a bat out of hell. My anxiety coupled with the fact that my son was starting school had me an absolute wreck. I know he is ready and I am so, so, proud of him. But it’s so hard for me to let him go. People keep telling me “that’s life.”, “he’ll be fine!”, “every kid goes to school, you’re not the only one feeling this way”, and while they are ALL right, that does not make it any easier. I have so many worries and concerns. Did I teach him enough? Did I prepare him enough? What if he gets bullied? What if he loses sight of who he is? I guess these are things we all ask ourselves.

After a nearly sleepless night, I woke up feeling reassured. He will be fine. I have to have faith that Daniel and I taught him enough to prepare him for this next step in his journey. Braden, if by chance you can read this within the next few years, I want you to know that no matter how much I might cry next week, it’s not because school is scary, it’s because watching you grow up is scary. I know some day you will shy away from my hugs, or make me drop you off around the corner, and that’s okay. As long as you let me cry on this day.

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Buddha Teas – Zen Cleanse Blend

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 11.15.34 AMA few weeks back I was approached by Buddha Teas to try their product and give an honest review. I was a little apprehensive because I am really brutally honest and I didn’t want them to be disappointed if I didn’t like the tea. I’m a tea snob so I felt like it could be a recipe for disaster, but I eventually accepted their proposal. I will just say, I have zero regrets. I got to go pick whichever tea I wanted, that was probably the best part. Their website has such a wide selection that I wasn’t sure I’d ever make up my mind, but I eventually settled on the Zen Cleanse Blend (

Their teas are super affordable so I was going to buy it myself, but they told me it was on them! Yay! So I waited and waited for that tea to arrive, when it did, it did not disappoint. The packaging is actually quite nice for being as simplistic as it is.

The teabags are all bleach free and the packaging is eco-friendly! In addition to that, the teas themselves are all organic. No artificial flavours, colors, or preservatives. No GMO’s. NO MSG, and they’re 100% Kosher. These guys know their stuff!

So, I wanted to wait and use it when I was done smoking, because I felt like using a cleansing tea while putting toxins into your body on the daily is a little counterproductive. I quit a few days ago and on the first day completely smoke free, I enjoyed my first cup of Zen Cleanse Blend. Oh, my, gosh! First impressions? It smelled really nice, it has some obvious minty notes and despite not containing any citrus, it has a citrus scent. Could just be the ginger root? Who knows. Anyway the tea tastes fantastic. There’s this really strong flavour that usually I only get with loose leaf teas. I was pretty surprised to have such natural, flavourful tea, from a tea-bag! Even though the tea is decaf, I really felt a burst of energy after drinking it and I could feel it detoxing my body. I had some mild stomach cramps but I know that was the tea doing it’s job. I’ve had a cup or two every day since and my body feels amazing after I have a cup. I feel warm and fuzzy from the inside out, just very relaxed, but with the energy i’d have from drinking coffee. It’s the weirdest thing. I’m also down 2lbs and have only been drinking it for a few days. It’s not intended to make you lose weight but with it cleaning out my system, I am removing a lot of poison and toxins, making my metabolism quicker. :) Oh and back to the packaging, They have little motivational quotes on every tea-tag! I squealed. The cup I’m drinking right now says “Laugh at your mistakes”. :) I just thought that was such a sweet little touch, as if the tea isn’t enough of a pick-me-up, my tea is giving me advice to improve my life, what even!

Anyway, I’m sold. I will definitely be rebuying this tea and hopefully trying more in the future. I’m not one to falsely advertise something, I even got my husband to try it and back me up (he loved it too!)

So if you’re looking for delicious, affordable, healthy teas, check them out. ;)

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Facebook Hiatus, Quitting Smoking, Wreck This Journal, and more!

So I’ll start off with the bad news and then counter it with some good news! The bad news is that I am leaving Facebook for an undetermined amount of time. Sorry to those hoping for some juicy gossip, there is no delicious reason why besides the fact that I want to take some time away from Facebook chaos to spend with my family while my husband is on Summer Leave. He will be home for 31 days and I want to make the best of it. Facebook tends to stress me out, I’d rather go outside and plant something than sit inside brooding over internet drama. So that’s what I’m going to do! That being said, I’ll probably return sooner than I plan but who knows. I am hoping to at least dedicate a few Facebook free weeks to my family and my house.

Now for some good news! I did quit smoking. It’s reeeeeally hard but I am trying my best to hang in there. When I think about it too much it bothers me so I am trying to push it from my mind most of the time. I really need to quit for my family, but mostly for myself. I want more years on this beautiful planet. I don’t want to shorten my life with something as silly as smoking. So I need to rally up all my will power and cut it out.

Finally, the most exciting part of my week! I am doing “wreck this journal” it’s a super fun, hilarious, creative, series by Keri Smith. She has done a few different versions of Wreck This Journal. I am hoping to try them all. So far I am having tons of fun with it. :) The concept is adorable and really forces you to step out of your comfort zone and just WRECK the journal. Like taking it with you in the shower, or rolling it down a hill, for example :P Here are some of the pictures so far, I might continue posting them here but I’ll more than likely stick to posting them on Instagram.

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My best friend is coming home!

My best friend, husband, partner in crime, and better half, will be home tonight around 3AM. I don’t know how I am going to sleep, or function! I am so happy to see him. He was only gone for two weeks but that’s two weeks too long for me. When you’re watching the shows you usually enjoy together, alone. Then you say something about it and realize you’re talking to yourself. When you’re laying in bed and there’s a big empty space where he’s supposed to be, or one less plate at supper time. When you think about how someone you kiss every single day, multiple times a day, hasn’t kissed you in TWO WEEKS. It’s all so overwhelming. I am so ready for him to be back, time to hit the grind and clean this house before he sees the mess we’ve made of it, though :P

My baby can walk!!

Of course she would start walking while her Daddy is in Ukraine! :P Little stinker. I am so proud of her, she’s 11 months old and growing like a weed. Here’s a little preview of what she’s been doing the last few days! Gosh it makes me want to cry eek!

Practice makes perfect!

A video posted by Kate Blair (@katbla) on


No-Sew DIY Yoga Mat Bag! (Repurpose your old pants!)

So I had this really great pair of pants that I bought for yoga back in January. I loved the pattern on these pants but even back then they were snug and getting a little bit of chub rub on the inner thighs, fraying the stitches. Eventually they ripped in a very embarrassing fashion. (Right up the butt crack as I was bending over). I couldn’t bring myself to toss them because I love the pattern and I am ridiculously frugal. So I kept them and toyed around with ideas of what I could do with them. I considered turning them into cushions, which probably would have worked just fine, but eventually I came to the decision to turn them into a bag for my yoga mat. I wanted to sew them for a more clean, professional look, but my son stepped on the peddle of my sewing machine just as I was adjusting the thread and with that, it became a no-sew project because I didn’t have the patience to fix the hot mess that was the thread on my sewing machine. I wish I had taken pictures of my progress but I wasn’t sure how they would turn out and honestly I was crunched for time with three kids running about.

Here are the lovely pants:
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So, moving on to the actual project! Here is what you will need:
– An old pair of pants, preferably something with elastic waistband and ankle.
– Scissors

1. I started by putting my yoga mat in one leg and cutting that leg off with a little bit of extra fabric at the top.
2. Then I cut the other leg off at the same spot.
3. After I had both legs removed, I cut a strip of fabric from around the waistband.
4. Then snipped that fabric to make a looooong strip of fabric.
5. I turned my yogamat leg inside out and put the yoga mat back inside to make sure I tied the bottom off at the right spot, and then I did just that.
6. I took the looooong strip of fabric, bunched up the bottom of the leg and tied it shut. I double knotted, wrapped, double knotted, wrapped, and continued this step until I didn’t have enough fabric to tie it again. Once you’re done that step, turn it right side out and put your yoga mat back inside.
7. Then I took the second leg and cut all along the seam, opening it up. Then I cut it into four long strips. (be careful not to cut it horizontally, cut UP the leg, from ankle to thigh).
8. I tied one strip around the mat and stuck two fingers in there to make sure it wasn’t too tight around the mat, you want to me able to fit your mat inside!
9. I double knotted and made sure it was secured and then tied another strip onto the free end of that strip. Make sure it’s secured tightly with knots.
10. Then I tied that loose end onto the WAISTBAND (which will become shoulder support!).
11. Next I moved to the other end of the mat and did the same thing with my two remaining strips, creating a strap for my bag.

Voila! C’est magnifique!

If you prefer to sew, you can sew the bottom shut, and sew the straps together rather than tying and knotting, which might provide a more secure strap, but I was happy with the DIY look of mine without sewing!

Yoga is for anyBODY

Another yoga post, shocker! That seems to be all I’ve been doing lately but honestly, I feel SO good! I have been practicing every single day. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and for once I am forming a very healthy and beneficial habit. One amazing thing I have discovered about yoga is that there is no discrimination. Yoga is for every body. Big, small, short, tall, broken, or built. I am overweight, I know a lot of people don’t consider me overweight but I am according to my BMI and besides that, I FEEL overweight. But when I do yoga, I feel healthy, and I feel as light as air. It has restored a confidence in me that I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again. I follow a lot of Yogis on Instagram and my favourite tag is #curvyyoga because they are slaying! They are breaking down the boundaries and preconceived ideas of fitness that society has placed on us, I’m honoured to become a part of that. If you have thought about yoga, but talked yourself out of it because you think it’s not for you or your body type, I urge you to check out that hashtag.

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