Being Free

For a long time I thought that having children meant saying goodbye to your social life. I thought that was a sacrifice all good Moms made. I think I convinced myself of that because I was slowly submitting to my social anxiety and I wanted to justify it. However, using your children as an excuse for your lack of a social life is, in my opinion, synonymous with blaming them. My kids if anything, made me capable of being a better friend to someone. They taught me to be patient and embrace my silly side. They’ve taught me to be myself and love myself, I try every day to see myself through their eyes. It’s not always easy, but on the days that I do, I love myself beyond words. I discovered I connect better with other Moms because they understand how my life is prioritized. But now I am allowing myself to make friends without feeling guilty about it, I owe it to myself and to my children to be happy, because how can they learn to love themselves if they are raised by someone who can’t love herself? If you’re like I was and you find yourself with no friends, free yourself. Go out. Make friends. Even if it betrays your comfort, you will thank me.

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When in doubt, bath it out.

Woah look! I’m still here. I’ve been very preoccupied with my current escapades, as usual. I am one of those people who changes hobbies more than I shower. In the blink of an eye I could go from hardcore knitting queen to a spanish speaking artist to sitting at a desk sewing clothing designs. I always seek to develop new interests, things that make me happy and there is nothing wrong with that! I find as I get older I care less about what people think of me and more about just doing what I love and it turns out that I really love a lot of things. I feel like I have learned and retained so much more since I was 18 than I ever did in School (Probably not but that’s certainly how it seems.)

So anyway, I’ve been really enjoying painting (still) and that’s where my attention has been for the last little while. But I actually wanted to talk about things that make me calm, my happy place. I love sitting in my bedroom (when it’s clean, that’s the best lol) and painting on a nice fresh canvas. The best times are when my husband is laying in bed on his laptop. Even though we’re not talking, his presence is comforting. Then when I finish up for the night, I love to hop into a hot bath with some epsom salts or a bath bomb and wash the paint from my nails. I feel like acrylic paint never completely comes off but somehow I love that. It makes me feel artsy. While I’m bathing I love to close my eyes and meditate. Sometimes I like to day dream and imagine myself and my kids in some beautiful place far from here, with gorgeous mountains and a light breeze, it’s pretty cheesy to be honest but that.. that is my happy place and I try to go there as often as possible to keep myself stress free and happy! What is your happy place?
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Has it been 6 months already?

MagnoliasPaisley is almost 7 months old now! I can’t believe she is already over 6 months old, but another thing I find hard to believe is that Daniel was away from work for that long. He returned today and it was my first time taking care of the three kids by myself since she’s been here! I actually find myself more motivated when he’s gone because I want him to come home to a relaxing environment so we can all make the best of the time we have together. When he was on paternity leave he was so incredibly helpful, but I was so incredibly spoiled and lazy because of it! Now I am getting back into the “stay at home Mom” groove. Cleaning, feeding and bathing the spawns, activities, and playing with them. I actually feel great about it and I was more than ready to begin transitioning into a new routine.

We’ve made some drastic changes to our diets (Dan and I) because our eating habits were terrible to say the least. So our last haul of groceries was quite different than the usual but it’s been great so far. I only miss my Timmies. I’ve been focusing a lot on my artwork still, trying various types. I’m doing an “art every week” for 52 weeks challenge and haven’t missed a week yet. :D (I’m working on week 12 this week!)

All in all, despite my lack of updates, I feel like this has been the best 6 months of my entire life. I feel like my family is complete. We are all content, growing, and learning every single day and I don’t want to miss a second of it. I am sitting now with a home full of sleeping kids, the boys in their beds, Paisley in my lap, and only the ticking of the clock and the clicking of the keys for sound. The quiet is beautiful, but I look forward to the chaos of tomorrow, as I do everyday.

xo

Dragon's blood trees, Socotra, Yemen https://www.flickr.com/photos/45340412@N06/4453159892/

Rest in natural great peace

Originally posted on Zen Flash:

“Rest in natural great peace, this exhausted mind,
Beaten helpless by karma and neurotic thoughts,
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace.”

~ Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

withNidup Tshonga.

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4 Ingredient Peanut Butter Fudge!

I found numerous variations of this recipe online and had to tweak it many times to get the consistency I wanted. This peanut butter fudge could NOT be easier! It’s rich and creamy and so easy to make. Perfect for gifts or just to satisfy your sweet tooth! :)

~25 SERVINGS (pieces)
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INGREDIENTS
1/4 tsp Salt
1 Cup Smooth Peanut Butter
3/4 Cup Soft Butter/Margarine
2+ Cups Confectioner’s Sugar

TOOLS
1 Saucepan/pot
A measuring cup and measuring spoons
Mixing spoon
Dish for fudge
Cutting board / Knife

PREP TIME
5 min
TOTAL TIME
7 min

1. Combine your Peanut Butter and Butter in a saucepan over Medium Heat. Let your mixture sit for approximately 2 minutes, stirring occasionally to combine.
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2. While you’re letting your peanut butter and butter mixture melt, take this time to combine 2 Cups of Confectioner’s Sugar with your 1/4 tsp of Salt. Then be sure to grease/butter a dish to put your fudge in. Alternatively you can put wax paper or greased aluminum foil inside the dish to make removing your fudge easier later on! Personally I put mine in a glass dish which I do not butter because my mixture tends to be a bit oily when finished anyway and slides right out.
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3. Once your liquid mixture is thoroughly melted, stir it together completely to ensure it’s smoothly combined, then pour it into your confectioner sugar/salt mixture.
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4. Stir your mixture together and continue adding confectioner’s sugar until the mixture is pliable enough to form a soft ball if you wanted to. But be sure that it is NOT crumbly. It should feel a bit oily to the touch but be solid enough that you can mold it.
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Still needs more confectioner’s sugar!
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Final Result!
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5. Once you’ve reached the proper consistency, put the mixture into your dish and spread/smooth it out evenly (Or you could use cutter’s to do fun shapes, up to you!). Then put it in the fridge for ~2 hours to cool.

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6. Remove from the fridge then remove the fudge from the dish and place it on a cutting board and cut into squares or whatever shape you’d like.
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TIP: You can take paper towel and dab the fudge down prior to cutting if you want to remove some of the excess oil at this point!

You’re done!!

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ENJOY!
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