Tonight, I was disappointed. As a member of a group of Moms I am often faced with differing beliefs, views, opinions, and other synonyms for the like. I usually keep my mouth shut and keep my opinions to myself because I am not a fan of confrontation. Tonight I decided not to.
Someone had posted something that I possibly misconstrued as an uneducated statement about Child health. Her words were that her son cannot gain weight, so if she wanted she would send chips and chocolate in his school lunch and “you’re damn right he’s going to eat it.”. My issue with that statement was the implication that the only health issue resulting from junk food, is obesity. So I took to my personal Facebook to try to educate people. I said that junk food can also cause type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular conditions, and more. I chose to do this on my personal Facebook, which I had set to “friends only” instead of on the group because I did not want to hurt this woman’s feelings by disagreeing with her. I thought my opinions were safe on my own Facebook, which I realize is silly to a lot of people, but I maintain a very small friend list.
Someone on my friend list chose to pass the status I posted on to the girl who inspired the post. Which obviously hurt her feelings. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions after that, stemming from my social anxiety. I felt betrayed, guilty, hurt, nervous… I was panicking. I didn’t intend to hurt anyone. I just wanted people to realize how important healthy eating habits are. I’m not a sanctimommy, my children eat junk too, I just wanted to eliminate the belief that health equates to weight, there is SO much more to worry about than just the number on your scale.
After deleting the status out of respect for a friend who was offended, I posted this one:
“Straight up, anyone who knows me knows that I am a nice person. I am not a bully. While I do have strong opinions about things that are important to me, I wouldn’t go out of my way to intentionally hurt someone who has differing views. To the person who took something I said on my personal Facebook and shared it with someone knowing it would hurt their feelings and knowing it would create drama for me, thank you. You’ve showed me that drama is more important to you than respecting me. Many people know I have severe social anxiety and when I am faced with conflict it makes me physically SICK. I almost puked when I realized someone was upset with me and I felt guilty, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I should not have to feel bad for having a personal opinion about something and sharing it among people I thought were trustworthy. I am sorry I offended someone, but I am not sorry for trying to educate people. I will never be sorry for that. :) Have a great Friday everyone, never stop speaking your mind.”
I maintain my opinion. What I spoke was truth, whether or not it was relevant to the girl’s post or whether or not I misunderstood her. Everything I said is still true and important. With all the controversial shit in the world, how did I end up mixed up in drama because of something so trivial. My original post was not rude, not accusatory, I didn’t single anyone out or name any names, I simply provided facts. The girl who inspired the post is not someone I know or would ever meet/associate with, she did not EVER have to know I disagreed with her. To the person who chose to run to the girl and share my private post with her, shame on you. One, for telling her something a stranger said knowing it could hurt her feelings and two, for betraying my trust with the sole intention of causing conflict. I will always apologize for hurt feelings but I will not retreat from voicing my opinion on important issues on the basis that it could potentially hurt the feelings of a person I do not know or have any obligation to. I am sensitive to the feelings of others, I always will be, but I won’t be a doormat either.